Ladies, I’ve got the three things men hate to hear! Why? Because they feel instantly defensive. Joy Tabakman is a relationship therapist at the Centre for Imago Therapy in Ottowa Canada and she says that psychologically, men don’t like feeling threatened. Their blood pressure rises, their heartbeat quickens, and they’re more likely to have a stress reaction. So, here are the phrases men hate and how to get your point across without sounding threatening. We found this intelligence on the Canadian web site Canoe.com.
- The first phrase guys hate to hear: “We never do anything fun anymore.” Why’s that so bad? Because it puts all the responsibility on him and studies show that saying words like “never” and “always” are overtly threatening. They’re more likely to trigger a negative reaction. So ladies, take ownership of how you feel. Say something like “I miss you. Can we schedule a date night?” That way, you’ll come across as non-threatening and he’ll be much more open to the idea.
- The next thing guys hate to hear: “If you really loved me, you’d (fill in the blank).” Guys get upset because it sounds like you’re giving them an ultimatum. Instead, if you want something from your partner, you need to ask for it in a positive way. For example, say something like “I feel like I need more of your attention,” or “I’d like to take a vacation. Can we work out a plan?” Always begin these types of conversations by stating how you feel first, followed by a plan to work it out together.
- And the last thing guys hate to hear: “We can’t afford that!” It may be true that a large flat-screen TV is beyond your budget, but flipping out won’t help. Instead, relax, count to 10, then make your opinion heard. For example, say something like “I’m happy you’re so excited about the TV, but I’m worried we won’t have enough money to pay the mortgage this month.” If you give your partner the facts, they’ll be more likely to put away their wallet. Then maybe say something like “But let’s come up with a way to cut back in other areas so we can work toward that goal.” That way your partner will feel hopeful instead of shut down.