Here's the anatomy of a breakup. This comes from several psychologists interviewed by Rodale publishing and explains why we feel the way we do, and why we do the crazy things we do.
- For example, one day after a dumping your emotions will range from despair to rage to intense love and hatred. That’s according to Dr. Harold Wexler from the Relationship Training Institute. If you’re a guy, one day after a breakup you’re more likely to punch a wall or get in a fight with somebody. Why? Because men are more likely to funnel their negative emotions into physical aggression. Guys, instead hit the gym. Doing some cardio can reduce anger and tension. If you’re a woman, day one after the breakup, you’ll be crying, and that’s okay. Women cry five times more than men do – and 85% say they feel better after a sob session.
- One week after a breakup, you’ll find it hard NOT to think of your lost love. Every song on the radio will remind you of them and you may dial their number and hang up several times. This is because people who have been recently dumped have elevated brain activity in the region that controls obsessive thinking.Your output of dopamine will also be affected, which is the neurotransmitter associated with risk taking. So you may feel a bit wilder and crazier than usual. Avoid casinos and sky diving during this time.
- One month after the breakup, you’ll be back to your old self for the most part. Researchers at the University of Virginia studied people one month after a split and found that the recently dumped were as happy as those still in relationships. Men achieve emotional calm almost a YEAR before women. So although a woman may feel relatively emotionally normal, she won’t be fully “over it” for about a year.
Most people who have been dumped will try to get back together with their ex at least once during the first month. Studies show, after making contact, you’ll feel worse. So resist contact if you can.