Here are some nuggets of wisdom from psychologist Martha Beck. She’s a regular contributor to Oprah’s “O” magazine and author of The Joy Diet. Here are her best pieces of advice:

  • Don’t be afraid of problems. Beck says every problem carries the seed of its own solution. Got job burnout? It’s your signal that you need to do something more fulfilling with your life. In an awful relationship? It’s teaching you what love really means. Can’t pay off your debt? It means you’re too focused on what you don’t have – instead of being happy with what you already have.

  • The next piece of wisdom from Martha Beck: Success is built on failure. We can only succeed by failing first. You need to first try - and be willing to fail – to achieve success. Studies show that people who worry about mistakes shut down, but people who can accept a mistake, learn from it and move on, do better in life.

  • More advice: Pretty people don’t get all the good stuff. It’s true that being Brangelina means people may give you preferential treatment. But there’s a catch: While everyone’s looking at them, virtually no one sees them. Beck says almost every gorgeous patient she’s had had a husband who married her looks without ever noticing her soul. 

  • Beck also says stop thinking that if all your wishes came true, your life would be perfect. People who got everything they wanted are all over rehab clinics, jails and divorce courts. She says good fortune has side effects. Anything you depend on outside of yourself to make you feel good has the power to make you feel bad.