Hey, moms-to-be – want to safeguard your marriage? You might want to keep your husband OUT of the delivery room. Why? Because some experts say that a lot of men find childbirth so grueling, disturbing and – well, gory – that it can ruin the romance between you for months, or maybe even forever.
One columnist writing about the subject was so traumatized by witnessing his wife’s emergency C section, that he couldn’t be intimate with her for nearly a year. He says he kept reliving the terrifying moments when he thought his wife and his unborn son might die right in front of his eyes. And he later discovered that 3 of his friends left their wives because they couldn’t get past watching them give birth.
He says it’s something people don’t talk about because giving birth is supposed to be a wonderful, miraculous experience. But it may be something you just can’t “UN-see.” Dr. Shoshana Bennett is a clinical psychologist and author of Postpartum Depression for Dummies. She says it’s common for men to be standoffish after childbirth. She points out that most men feel it’s their duty to be by their wife’s side during the birth, even if the sight of blood makes them sick.
And beyond the gore of childbirth - the entire experience of having a baby is a huge game-changer. Experts say that it’s common for new dads to feel jealous of their own baby – because they don’t get as much attention from their wife. And a new mom may be so exhausted, she may not realize she’s pushed her spouse away.
Dr. Bennett says if the man in your life avoids intimacy after watching you have a baby, don’t take it personally! She says start building back up slowly say, by holding hands, hugging, and cuddling on the couch. The old feelings should return, eventually.
So, dads – were you traumatized after witnessing the birth of your children?