Want to be the most charming person in the room? Then here are a few subtle, nonverbal behaviors that you need to master. These comes from the book The Charisma Myth, by Olivia Cabane.

  • First: Stand tall. Because when you stand straight, with an open stance, and your shoulders back, you take up more space, which makes you appear more powerful and confident. And studies show that confidence is attractive to others.

  • Then, when you speak, lower the tone of your voice, and speak slowly. In fact, when people ask you questions, Cabone recommends waiting two full seconds before responding. Why? It’s because a slower speaking pace sets people at ease, making them more likely to pay attention to you.

  • But don’t do all the talking, because to be really charming, you also need to LISTEN. Our expert says paying attention, when someone else is talking, makes you appear more “present” in the conversation, which also makes you more likeable! Because people are more likely to talk to someone who gives their full attention.

  • Another subtle way to be more charming: Mimic other people’s body language. Like, if you’re talking to someone who rests their elbows on the table, do the same. We feel most comfortable with those who are similar to us, in appearance and behavior. So, copying another person’s body language will help build feelings of trust.

  • One more trick to help you be the most charming person in the room: Imagine being hugged by someone you love. Research shows that just thinking about a warm embrace can trigger the release the oxytocin - the bonding hormone. That’ll help lower your stress, so that when you talk to people, you’ll come across as Charming Charlie, not Nervous Nellie.