Experts say that marriages don’t fall apart suddenly, or because of one single incident. They erode over time. So, here are the warning signs that the tide’s beginning to turn against your relationship:
You take each other for granted. For example, couples counselor Dr. Bonnie Wiel says that a lot of women give up on their marriages the day after Mother’s Day. Why? If their husband just goes through the motions of celebrating – or forgets altogether - it highlights his chronic lack of appreciation. You should appreciate each other’s contributions all year long – but if you can’t even muster enthusiasm on a day set-aside for it – that’s trouble.
One spouse spends most of their time on a personal hobby or activity – like tennis or hunting. Having individual interests can boost your relationship, because they provide outside friends and new things to talk about. But if your interests are so time-consuming that they eat into your time with your partner, you need to consider why you may be using your hobby to avoid your spouse.
An unwillingness to compromise. Michele Weiner-Davis is the author of Divorce Busting. And she says it doesn’t matter how often you fight, as long as you resolve them. Because if working toward a compromise seems like too much trouble, it means one or both of you have given up.
You don’t share your online social lives. Divorce attorney Silvana Raso says that 4-out-of-5 married people have flirted with someone else on Facebook. Your best defense? Give your spouse access to your social media sites by “friending” them - and make sure your online friends know you’re in a committed relationship.