How do you know when the woman you love is mad at you? It may not be that easy for guys to decipher. That’s because when researchers studied couples, they found that people tricked their partners with fake love gestures three times a week! Basically, people reported that they used kisses and hugs to avoid conflict – or to ease tension with their partners. Because kissing and making up is easier than working through an argument.

So how are you supposed to know when she’s really upset about something? Dr. Karen Sherman is a psychologist and the author of, Marriage Magic: Find It, Keep It, Make It Last, and she says men need to be on the lookout for these three signs:

  • Is there a lack of eye contact? Dr. Sherman says women are big on eye contact. So if she keeps her back to you while you’re talking – or doing something else so she doesn’t have to look at you – she’s mad.

  • She drops the F-bomb – as in “I’m fine.” It’s an unwritten rule that pretty much anytime you ask a woman how she is – and she replies, “I’m fine” – she’s not. So pay attention to her tone of voice and not the words. If her tone is flat, or sarcastic, she’s not fine. She’s upset.

  • She shuts up. Most women are communicators. Dr. Sherman says women are wired to feel connected through communication – it’s how they bond. So if you’re used to meeting up and getting questions about your day – or her telling you what she’s been up to, but instead you get silence – something’s up.