How can some people overcome extreme circumstances like poverty, a personal or natural disaster, or growing up in violence while others are defeated by the smallest setback? In a word: resilience. That's the ability to bounce back from adversity--And there are several factors that play a part--We read about them in Time Magazine.
One of the biggest is the strength of the parental bond established in the first 3 years of life. This is HUGE because it sets the tone for the rest of a person's life. Studies that follow children to adulthood show that the bond between parent and child influences future success more than any other factor. Another factor that plays a part is being born with an easygoing personality. But what about the things you aren't born with? Can people learn to be resilient and overcome adversity? Yes. There are concrete things anybody can do to become a happy and successful person:
- For example, hone a talent. People who are resilient have found something that they're better at than others. And they don't have to be good at it right away--Half the battle is showing up every day to practice and work hard.
- Resilient people also have someone who believes in them--If it's not a parent, it can be a teacher or a friend. If you know that you're cared about and that it matters to someone else how you do or if you show up, you'll show up and you'll do better.
- Another factor that contributes to resilience: Forgetting about luck. If you think passing a class, getting into a fight, or getting pregnant is a question of being lucky or unlucky, you are less likely to bounce back from adversity. Resilient people believe that they are in charge of their destiny.
- And the final factor that goes into making a person resilient: Helping others. A common thread among adults who rebound from adversity is that as children they were required to help others. They realized early on that they weren't the only ones with problems. So to recap--To be more resilient: Hone a talent, believe in yourself and find someone else who believes in you too, forget about luck, and help others. With those things in place you can bounce back from anything life throws your way.