Here’s the scenario: You wander into your boyfriend’s room, and you notice he left his cell phone on the desk. He also left his email account open on his computer. So do you take a look? According to a report we found on CNN, technology like cell phones and email have helped make it easier than ever to snoop on people these days. However, if you’re involved in a relationship, that may not necessarily be a good thing. For example, a recent Australian survey found that one-third of all cell phone users under the age of 30 had secretly checked their partners’ cell phone, to read their text messages. Of those cell-snoops, 73% admitted they found something they wished they hadn’t, and in about one in 10 of those cases, the snooping led to a breakup.

Granted, there are some who might say that couples should be an open book around each other. So checking a loved one’s phone to see who called shouldn’t count as “snooping,” because they shouldn’t have anything to hide, right? Most experts agree that if you feel a need to go through a partner’s messages, even in an innocent way, you probably have a major problem with trust. That’s the word from Thomas Merrill, a clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships. He says rifling through someone’s medicine cabinet, or poking through someone’s in-box, is never a good substitute for talking about your relationship troubles. So if you feel like your partner’s being distant, or hiding something, you need to speak up. Otherwise no amount of snooping is going to fix the fact that your relationship’s in trouble.

Also keep in mind that some snooping could be illegal! For example, if you’re picking through your loved one’s trash in the backyard, opening their postal mail, or hacking into their email without permission, then you’re breaking the law! The only exceptions are if you’re married to the person, or share property with them.