Let’s say you’ve just met someone and you’re sure it’s love at first sight. What should you do? Take it slow, that’s according to Lesli Doares, the author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage. She says it takes about 8 weeks to find out if a relationship is worth pursuing. Here’s why: 

  • First: 8 weeks is about how long it takes most couples to have a real argument. Psychologist Lawrence Birnbach says that people who are disrespectful or abusive often conceal those behaviors early in a relationship. 

  • Another reason to go slow: You’re not thinking straight. When you first start dating, the levels of the feel-good brain chemicals dopamine and norepinephrine increase dramatically. And those chemicals can literally blind you to bad behavior. 

  • The final reason you can’t hurry love: It takes time to find out if you’re really compatible. Psychotherapist Dr. Douglas LaBier says that most people need at least 8 weeks to feel comfortable enough to open up about themselves, and to start sharing the things they want and expect from life.