Wanna make your relationship better? Whether you’re in a new relationship – or a long-term one – experts say the key is to come right out and ask for what you want! That’s true whether you want more romance in your life, or wish your honey would include your input in financial decisions. So, here’s how to get what you want from your relationship, courtesy of Match.com:
- Be specific. Don’t be too critical and use “I” language. This will help you avoid any misunderstanding or defensiveness. For example, instead of saying: “How come you never bring me flowers anymore?” Try: “I wish you’d bring me flowers – like when we were first dating.” You’ll be more likely to get your wish. Why? Because it’s more about what you want than about what they’re not doing.
- Create a reciprocal arrangement. If your partner does something nice for you, you do something for them. Make it something they actually want. So, if they don’t care that the bed gets made, offering to make the bed won’t cut it. You can even give them specific choices. For example, say something like “You did my laundry for me. So I’ll either: A) give you a foot rub. B) give you a sympathetic ear – no questions asked, or C) take out the trash for a week.
- Give each other a free pass so you can each get out of something you really don’t want to do. For example, if it isn’t that important or crucial to you, and they want to skip Friday night dinner with your family to hang out with their friends, it’s okay. The deal is, they have to give you something in return - or your own free pass. So, if you don’t want to go with them to the monster truck rally next weekend – you don’t have to. Make it a hard-and-fast rule. If an event is important enough for one of you to really want the other to come - attendance is mandatory.