Disagreements are a normal part of a relationship. But you can learn how to fight fairly by following these simple ideas from Dr. Phil - we got them at Oprah .com:

  1. Find a visual cue. Hold up a designated item to signal that a fight is starting and it's time to nip it in the bud.
  2. Take the discussion someplace private. The fight might have started at the supermarket, don't continue it there. Remember, this a person you love. Hold hands. It makes it easier to communicate and much harder to argue.
  3. Another tip for diffusing a fight with your spouse: Take the word "anger" out of your vocabulary. Replace it with either fear, hurt, or frustration. Those are the three emotions at the root of anger.
  4. Express your needs to your partner. Don't assume they already know what those needs are. Be articulate and state calmly what you need. This will help you reach a solution to your problem.

And a final tip for diffusing a fight with your spouse: Share a moment of peace to reaffirm your bond once a resolution has been reached. A nice big hug is just what the doctor ordered.