Disagreements are a normal part of a relationship. But you can learn how to fight fairly by following these simple ideas from Dr. Phil - we got them at Oprah .com:
- Find a visual cue. Hold up a designated item to signal that a fight is starting and it's time to nip it in the bud.
- Take the discussion someplace private. The fight might have started at the supermarket, don't continue it there. Remember, this a person you love. Hold hands. It makes it easier to communicate and much harder to argue.
- Another tip for diffusing a fight with your spouse: Take the word "anger" out of your vocabulary. Replace it with either fear, hurt, or frustration. Those are the three emotions at the root of anger.
- Express your needs to your partner. Don't assume they already know what those needs are. Be articulate and state calmly what you need. This will help you reach a solution to your problem.
And a final tip for diffusing a fight with your spouse: Share a moment of peace to reaffirm your bond once a resolution has been reached. A nice big hug is just what the doctor ordered.