The next time an argument is brewing with your partner, DON’T fight back. According to the book Stop Talking, Start Communicating, in a heated conversation, retaliation only increases the intensity of the fight. It also distracts from the point of the argument, and makes it more like a game – where you and your partner are trying to score the most points and win. So, instead of trying to top your partner – by saying something like, “Well, I wouldn’t have done that if you hadn’t done what YOU did!” – just ask to take a time-out. Then, take a couple minutes to calm down and collect your thoughts. Want to go further? The book is called Stop Talking, Start Communicating, by Geoffrey Tumlin.