Another prom season has come and gone, but have you ever thought about the message prom sends to teen girls? Here are the life lessons our girls are learning, and they’re not all good. This comes from the book The Curse Of The Good Girl, by educator Rachel Simmons:

  • Prom lesson #1: Money is important. This year, the average family spent over $1,100 getting their daughter ready for prom, between the dress, shoes, tanning, hair, and makeup, and as many girls learned, the more money they spent, the more attention they got.

  • Prom lesson #2: You need to wait to be invited. Because these days, the most popular way of being asked to prom is with a “prom-posal,” where boys plan out elaborate public proposals, like baking cupcakes, with the invitation spelled out in frosting, or hiring a skywriter to spell out the word “prom?” Simmons says the problem is that waiting to be asked sends the message that girls should passively wait for everything in life, including jobs and promotions. Because as prom teaches us, if a woman asks first, she comes across as too aggressive, which others don’t find attractive.

  • Another prom lesson: When it comes to prom, and life, beauty matters more than anything. This year’s most popular prom dress was modeled after the pink Dior gown Jennifer Lawrence wore to the Oscars. And our expert says the “red carpet” mentality doesn’t go away just because prom season’s over. And a new study found that a whopping 80-percent of women say they compete with their peers over appearance. As Simmons puts it, prom starts girls off on the “beauty spending pipeline,” where, eventually, they may feel like they’re getting ready for a beauty contest every day of their life.

Do you agree? Does prom send a bad message? Weigh in at