There are killers in our house, and we are in a constant state of DEFCON 1.

It’s not just the toys I’m worried about. The miniature Disney tiaras and plastic bead bracelets. The unrecognizable wad of Silly Putty. The stray Barbie heel left behind after a wild night on the town.

No, it’s everything else in this house, which is suddenly not as childproof as I thought.

The first kid was easy. Keep everything away from her. Everything. With Child2, we have a new threat that is more stealth, and far more deadly. With Child2, we now have to worry about… Child1. She’s a one woman trail of destruction, and the amount of debris left behind can be overwhelming.

They say the biggest threats are rare earth magnets that can be found in toys and TV remotes. We keep a sharp eye on the toys - and everything else in this Temple of Doom. As for the remote, they’re definitely not getting their hands on that. It’s football season.