As the song says, "Breaking up is hard to do" - Even when it's just your hairdresser or your personal trainer. But why is it so difficult? Two words: Fear and guilt.
That's according to psychologist Tina Tessina. She says most of us are afraid of angry confrontations. And there's guilt if they rely on your business to make a living. So, here's her advice on how to walk away from any relationship with grace, maturity and a clear conscience:
- First, it's easy to develop close ties with your trainer. They see you at your worst: sweating, straining, crabby, and facing the dreaded scale. But remember: it's business. And if you're not satisfied with them or your results, Dr. Tessina recommends telling them: "You haven't done anything wrong.I just have other areas I want to concentrate on, so I'd like to try someone else."
- Then, what should you do if you're not happy with your hairstylist? Don't forget that you're in control. After all, you're the one who has to live with an unflattering haircut. Try saying, "I don't think we're on the same page. So, I'm going to try another stylist and maybe go for something completely new."
- Finally, how can you break up gracefully with a good friend? Gently let them know why you're upset, and how you'd like things to change. You may be able to reach a compromise. But if that doesn't work, don't just cut them off without an explanation. It'll make you look childish, and will lead to that angry blowup you're hoping to avoid. It might also be smart to tell your mutual friends what's happening, and that you want to stay friends with them. Say something like, "I know you're still friends with Bobby, and that's okay, but I'm just not going to hang out with him anymore."
If you'd like to go further, Dr. Tessina's book is: It Ends With You: Grow Up and Out of Dysfunction.