Then stop! Marriage is a partnership. So you can’t get your way in everything. Here’s how to share the wealth, courtesy of Dr. Howard Markman, co-author of Fighting for Your Marriage:
First, if you’re the boss, fire yourself. In other words, don’t insist on having your way about the housework, the kids, the money, and the driving. Things will work out even if someone else is in charge and does things differently. In fact, consider consciously dividing things up. For example, you’re in charge of investments, as long as your spouse knows where the money’s going, and they’re in charge of repainting the living room, as long as you have input on the color.
Another strengthen-your-marriage tip: Let go of the fantasy. You know, where everything would be perfect if only you made more money, or your husband stopped leaving his socks in the living room. You’re just setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead, appreciate the life you have now. Write down all the ways your life is good, right down to the basics like "I have a roof over my head." Then, include everything you love about your husband. From the way he looks in faded jeans to the way he puts his arm around you when you watch TV. Remembering the reasons why you love him will help you get past the moments when you’d like to smack him instead.
Finally, go from "I win" to "we win." Having an "I told you so" moment may give you a sense of triumph, but your partner may end up resenting it – and you. Instead, start by assuming you’re both right, and find a solution that makes everyone happy. For example, your ski-crazy husband wants to rent a mountain cabin for the winter, but you think it’s too expensive. So, find some middle ground. Maybe you could share the house – and the cost – with several other families, and make both of you happy.
If you’d like to go further, the book is Fighting for Your Marriage by Dr. Howard Markman.