Nearly one in three of now-divorced women say they knew they were making a mistake as they walked down the aisle - but kept walking anyway, only to end up divorced later. So, why are a growing number of women marrying the wrong person? Experts say that it’s a perfect storm of factors.
Number one: Blame Cinderella. Jennifer Gauvain is the author of the book “How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy.” She says that women are programmed with an unrealistic idea of love from the get-go, thanks to happily-ever-after fairytales. Then, as women get older, the same message is re-enforced through romantic movies where love always wins, despite impossible scenarios. So even if a relationship feels wrong – women stick with it, thinking it’ll eventually improve and they’ll have their own happily-ever-after ending.
Another reason women are knowingly marrying the wrong guy: They’re desperate for children. People are waiting longer to get married. So when a woman hits 30 and hasn’t found the right guy – she may settle for any guy, just to get started on a family.
Finally, a lot of women have a severe case of Wedding Fever. The wedding industry has never been hotter, and women get so caught up in the wedding itself – that they put off thinking about the marriage overall.
So, how do you tell the difference between wedding jitters and legitimate second thoughts? Experts say that jitters are anxiety over the event, but cold feet are about doubting the relationship. Like thinking “Am I settling?” Or telling yourself, “Things will improve after the wedding.” Or, “I have to marry him, we've been dating forever!” If those are the thoughts crossing your mind, experts say pay attention – because your gut may be trying to tell you to say “I don’t.”