Want to boost your relationship? Now you can with an app! In fact, psychologist Dr. John Gottman has developed several new smartphone apps. He’s a friend of the show who’s been studying relationships for 40 years, and the apps are all based on approaches he uses in couples therapy.
App #1 is Love Maps. It’s based on a series of 87 questions about you and your partner’s history, preferences, and concerns, and the idea is to help you both develop a “map” showing how much space you’re devoting in your life for your relationship and your partner’s needs – or if you’re mostly focusing on yourself.
App #2 from Dr. Gottman is Open-Ended Questions. This app flashes questions onscreen, like: “What do you want your life to be like in three years?” or “Is our child like anyone in your family?” The idea is to get couples talking about important issues – about your family, career, and dreams - instead of just asking “What's for dinner?”
One more app to boost your relationship is Kahnoodle. This app builds on Dr. Gottman’s research, by installing something called a “love tank” on your phones. And the only way to “fill” the tanks is to do and say positive things – like complimenting each other’s outfit, or doing chores without being asked. It’s like earning “points” for doing good deeds. The goal is to encourage couples to fill each other’s tank as much as possible. And if your love tank’s running low, this app offers tips to help you and your partner take action to fill it up again.
Want to go further? You can find all of these apps at Gottman.com, and Kahnoodle.com.