Whether you’ve been married for years, or are dating someone new, there are things you should never say to your partner - if you want your relationship to last. 

  • First: Avoid any phrase that starts with “you always” or “you never," as in “you’re never there for me.” When you use absolute phrases like "You never" or "You always" - your partner will either shut down, or start a fight, saying, "You never help me clean" only derails the discussion because it GUARANTEES a reply like "What about the time I scrubbed the kitchen?" A better approach is, "I don't get as much help around the house as I'd like."

  • The 2nd thing you shouldn’t say to your partner: “My ex would have never done that.” Comparisons are never a good idea in relationships. People should be treated as individuals. But comparisons to your ex are especially hurtful. Because they’ll think, if your ex was so great – maybe you should still be with them. 

  • Also don’t say: “I guess our kid got that from YOUR side of the family.” A lot of parents say things like that when their kid’s misbehaving in or having problems with drugs or alcohol. But experts say that’s as bad as saying: “I blame you for every bad thing that happens to our child.” Instead of blaming your partner, focus on what’s causing your kid’s problems and then work together to help your kid.

  • Next, never say this to your partner: “You know what your problem is?” Experts say that after a certain age, most of us have a pretty good sense of our own strengths and flaws. So, the last thing we want is to have the people we depend on for love and support pointing out more flaws! 

  • Finally, no matter how long you’ve been together, never ask your partner this question: “Do you think so-and-so’s attractive?” Nothing good can ever come from the answer. It’s rooted in insecurity. While we can appreciate the way other people look – that’s not what this question is about. If you need more validation from your partner, say so.