Want to know how your relationship’s doing? Look at your text messages. Psychology researchers at Wayne State University analyzed text messages between couples – and found the words they used showed how happy they were in the relationship. 

  • For example, scroll through your text messages and see how many times you use the word "I.” The researchers found that the more frequently women used "I" in their messages, the happier the couple was. That’s because the women were opening up to their partner - while maintaining a sense of independence, which is vital for a healthy relationship.

  • But the more people used the word “you,” the less happy the couple was. That’s because the word “you” is often part of an accusation – like “You’re never around……” or “Why did you do this?” 

  • The use of “emotion” words in text massages is also revealing - words like ‘happy,’ ‘excited,’ or ‘great.’ But there are gender differences. For example, the more positive emotion words a man uses in his messages, the more stable and happy the relationship. Words like "happy", "nice", and "love." 

  • But, women often use emotion words in a negative way – by saying things like "not happy" or "not nice." 

  • The final clue to look for in your text messages? Insider language. Nicknames or abbreviations that are specific to you as a couple. According to the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, that’s a sign of a happy relationship.