How can you tell if someone you’re emailing on a dating website is being honest? By looking at the words they use! Janine Driver is the author of You Can't Lie To Me. And she says that people tend to use certain words and phrases to separate themselves from their lies. Psychologists call it "distancing language." And here are 4 examples:
First, there’s the word “left.” People often use it when they want to leave a lie behind. So, if somebody says, “I left work at 6,” instead of “I went home at 6,” they may be untruthful.
Another red flag: Using the word “Never” – when a simple “No” will do. For example, if you ask your online pal if they’re contacting multiple people, be wary if they say, “I never contact more than one person at a time.” Why? Experts say that people are more comfortable making a blanket statement, like “I never do that," as opposed to lying about something specific, like “No, I didn’t call her.”
Another red flag example of distancing language: The word “that.” For example, if someone puts the word “that” in front of a noun, like, “I’d never date that woman” or “I didn’t take that money," they’re trying to distance themselves from the word – like money or woman. It’s designed to make you doubt your own judgment.
And finally, beware the phrase: “By the way.” John Olsson is the author of Solving Crime Through Forensic Linguistics. And he says you should pay extra attention to anything that’s prefaced with, “By the way” or “I almost forgot.” That’s because liars use throwaway phrases to make you think what they’re about to say isn’t important.