Ladies, you may be ruining your relationship without even realizing it. That’s according to clinical psychologist, Dr. Andra Brosh. Here are the 4 things you may be doing that are damaging your relationship.
Number one: You don't tell your husband you appreciate him. If you don’t acknowledge what he does for you, or your family, he’ll feel taken for granted. Dr. Brosh says, even if you work equally as hard, it's essential to show your gratitude, because a lack of appreciation leads to resentment. And even if you wish he did more, if you don’t appreciate what he already does do, he’ll never be motivated to step up and do more.
Mistake number two: You complain he doesn't show affection when he actually does. Men are not as demonstrative or verbal as women. They show their love in more subtle ways. A man might show his feelings through being a good dad, or even mowing the lawn. Dr. Brosh says, you may not get the lovey-dovey stuff you want, but don't overlook a man’s not-so-obvious expressions of love.
The third way women unknowingly ruin their relationships: Assuming they know what their husband's thinking. For example, maybe you never bring up finances because you know your husband will say, “I’m handling it!” But Dr. Brosh says assumptions breed hostility. Instead of talking with your partner, you're writing a negative script in your head. Share your concerns instead. You can say, “I usually don’t bring up our finances because I don’t want to upset you. But it’s important to me to know where we stand. Let’s talk about it.”
Finally, you can ruin your relationship by using sarcasm. It’s a passive-aggressive way of expressing anger or hurt. For example, maybe you want your husband to drop a few pounds but he’s stopped working out, but saying "How's that gym membership going?" is hurtful, not helpful. Instead, be supportive, not critical. Say, “You're not going to the gym anymore, and I'm concerned about your health. Wanna go together after work? I could use some cardio, too."