Ladies, if you’ve ever wondered what your partner is really thinking when he’s upset, we’ve got your back. Here’s a list of some things men don’t tell women – and why. This comes from psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman, who wrote the book, 7 Things He’ll Never Tell You - But You Need To Know.
First: Your man wants what happens between you and him to STAY between you and him. Studies show that women tend to be more social than men. In fact, oxytocin – the hormone that reduces stress in women – is stimulated through communicating. Which explains why woman are comfortable sharing intimate details of their relationship with friends and family. But guys tend to save their most meaningful conversations for their partner nd Dr. Leman says they feel “violated” when they find out you’re telling other people about your relationship. The fix? Try to limit conversations about your love-life to just your partner and one other person you can absolutely trust.
The 2nd thing guys won’t tell you: They want you to get to the point. Dr. Leman says most guys prefer communicating in “man speak," which is a simple, direct language, with as few unnecessary details as possible. So if you want to talk about your bad day, get right to the point about why you’re upset. A rambling monologue will only confuse and frustrate guys. And if your boyfriend leaves out the details when you ask him about his day – it’s not because he’s keeping something from you. That’s just the way most guys communicate.
One more thing a man won’t tell you: He prefers commands, not questions. Dr. Leman says the fastest way to get a man to shut down is to ask “why” questions like “Why aren’t you talking to me?” Because when a guy hears you say “why,” it puts him on the defensive – he sees it as an attack. So, instead of asking “why,” Dr. Leman recommends forming your question as a command instead, and say something like this: “Tell me about what’s upsetting you."