Men who are stressed are less satisfied with their relationship. That’s according to researchers at Purdue University. So, ladies, here are three things you do that cause major anxiety in men and what to do instead:

  • First: You hold a grudge. People whose partners recover well from fights, instead of repeatedly bringing up past issues, are more satisfied with their relationship. So when you argue, address only the problem at hand. And avoid words like “never” and “always” as in “You never want to hang out with my friends.” That involves every past behavior, not just the current issue.

  • What else stresses men out? Ultimatums. If you try to control his behavior by issuing an ultimatum, he’ll take that as a threat and get stressed. So don’t issue orders like: “Do this, or I’ll leave you.” Instead, explain how his actions affect you, like “I feel you don’t care about me when you do blah-blah-blah.” Remember, he should change because he wants to, not because you forced him to.

  • And ladies, the final move that stresses men out: The silent treatment. Because that makes him feel neglected and anxious. If you need to clear your head before having a serious talk, tell him you need a break.  Then set a specific length of time, whether it’s 15 minutes or 15 hours, and promise you’ll be ready to talk things out at the appointed time.