Here’s a special bulletin for our male listeners! We found the facts and the fixes behind 3 of the biggest mistakes men make with women.
Mistake #1: Not Listening. Patricia Love is the co-author of How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It. And she says that women enjoy conversation because it gives them a surge of dopamine, a brain chemical that boosts our mood. But men get their feel-good chemicals by being proactive. So, they tend to do only a little bit of listening and offer a lot of solutions. Instead, Ms. Love suggests that guys say the 3 words every woman wants to hear, “Tell me more.”
Man mistake #2 is a little tricky because it’s about something guys are wired to do, and that’s help. Alison Armstrong has spent the last 20 years researching relationships. And she says that when a woman needs help she may not ask for it, because she doesn’t want to admit that she can’t do it all. So, if a guy says, “Let me help you with that,” it could be taken in a negative way. Instead, try saying “Is there anything I can do?” This will make it easier for her to accept your offer.
And the last mistake: Thinking men and women are alike. Michael Broder is a psychologist and author of Can Your Relationship Be Saved? And he says that when a man gets his wife a Weed-Wacker for her birthday, he isn’t being insensitive and selfish, he really thinks, “I’d love one of those. Who wouldn’t?” Gentlemen, the fix here is simple: If you do something that you think is nice, and get a lukewarm response, explain your intentions and ask what you can do differently, next time.