- Promote your partner's self-esteem.We aren't always the shining example of the person we'd like to be. Sometimes we're a few pounds heavier, less creative, or a few rungs lower on the corporate ladder.Your partner isn't always going to be their best self, either. But you have to do what you can to protect their self-esteem. For example, if they're a little overweight, you might say "You're so good at doing things you set your mind to! I'd love to see you put that energy into getting back in shape." That'll work better than "You really could stand to lose a few pounds"
- Make yourself happy instead of right.Start evaluating the things you do in your relationship based on whether they're working--For example, let's say your spouse questions a lot of decisions you make. And the way you handle it is to lash out at them for not trusting you. And even though you have a right to be upset, this always creates tension. Instead, try a different approach. The next time they question you, say "I appreciate your input, sweetie. But I feel good about my decision." By choosing to be happy rather than right, you'll keep the arguments to a minimum.
- Put motion into your emotion. You have to turn the concept of love into an active behavior. Don't buy into the idea that if your relationship isn't an effortless, fairy-tale romance like you see in the movies, it's not meant to be. Love takes work. It requires you to communicate, to understand and forgive. For example, you have to TELL your spouse when they do something that upsets you not just sit back and hope that they figure it out on their own. According to Dr. Phil, the only way you can have a great relationship is through great effort.
If you don't embrace your relationship with honesty, compassion and enthusiasm, you're doomed. So, to keep things running smoothly, follow these tips, courtesy of Dr. Phil