Today, nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, and experts say one of the problems is that too many couples rush into divorce without first doing everything they can to save their marriage! So, here’s a checklist of things to try before you think about the “d-word”:
- First: Don’t divorce until you accept that NO relationship is perfect, and find YOUR part of the problem. Therapists say a lot of people divorce thinking they’re going to find something better with a new partner. So, ask yourself questions like: “How did I get myself into this situation?” or “Why did I pick this person to marry?” According to life coach Elizabeth Lesser, unless you’re prepared to accept the role you play in your relationship, you’ll never learn from the experience, and you’ll end up repeating the same mistakes in your next relationship!
- Another tip: Don’t divorce because you’re angry. Psychologists say that when we’re angry or hurt, because we’ve been betrayed or lied to, our brain kicks into “fight or flight” mode, and unfortunately, research shows that’s when we’re least likely to make smart decisions. That’s why if you’re considering divorce because you’re angry, experts recommend taking time to calm down and collect your thoughts, just to make sure that you’re making the right decision.
- Finally: Don’t divorce until you can imagine your spouse with someone else. That tip comes from anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher. She says for relationships to survive, they need to fully activate the physical and emotional systems in our brain. That means, if you reach a point where you can picture your spouse with another person, and it doesn’t bother you at all, then consider yourself “free” to divorce.