First: Marry a similar spender. The #1 topic couples fight about is money and you’re less like to argue if you’re both big spenders, or both big savers. University of Michigan researchers say that people tend to choose their spending opposites, which leads to more conflicts over money, and lower marital satisfaction in the long run.
Another way to strengthen your relationship: Say “thank you.” A study at Arizona State University found that a lot of people feel grateful, but never express it, because they assume their partner “just knows.” But partners who get thanked and feel appreciated are more satisfied overall. They also have less resentment even if they do more of the household chores or earn most of he money.
Also: When you’re fighting, use couple-focused words like “we,” “our,” and “us.” Because that shows you’re united even while you’re arguing. A study in Psychology and Aging found that couples who used “we” words showed more affection and were less stressed when they disagreed.
The final relationship advice is controversial: Be tough on each other. Researchers at the University of Tennessee found that some couples actually thrive on critical behavior, meaning their partner tells them when they’re getting fat or tells them they need to find a better job or that they aren’t pulling their weight around the house. Why? Because sometimes honest criticism can motivate a partner to change. If couples think those things, but never speak up, it can lead to resentment and eventually divorce.