Husbands, I’ve got the secret to winning your wife’s heart and enjoying a long and happy marriage. And it’s got nothing to do with spending a lot of money and showering her with gifts. Believe me, your wife wants you to listen to this. Here are some tips from Dr. Scott Haltzman, author of the book The Secrets of Happily Married Men.
- Make marriage your job. If you want a happy marriage, you’ve got to make it your top priority. Use the problem-solving skills you’ve learned at work to deal with issues that come up in your relationship. Break the problem down into small tasks, then plan a strategy and stick to it.
- Know your wife. This may sound silly, of course you know your wife, right? Take the time to watch her in different situations - with friends, at work, while rooting for her favorite team. Notice her likes and dislikes and use what you learn to show her you really know her. You may still be holding on to a mental picture of your wife from when you first met. But haven’t you changed since then? Well, so has she. Learn who she is now.
- Expect conflict, and deal with it. Fights are inevitable and even happy couples fight. But your instinct to dig in and fight to win isn’t the best thing for your marriage. But that’s your testosterone talking. So don’t get defensive, and soften your tone. Think of it this way – would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?
- Learn to listen. You may think you know how, but men aren’t naturally good listeners. Men get distracted more easily than women. So start by turning off the TV and making eye contact with her.
- Aim to please. Treat your wife at least as well as you would your boss or your most important client. And all those things you did for her while you were dating, you should still be doing.
To go further, check out The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight ways to Win Your Wife’s Heart Forever by Scott Haltzman.