After all, re-marriage gives you a chance to fix all the mistakes you made the first time! Unfortunately, statistics show the divorce rate in 2nd marriages is 60% – which is much HIGHER than first time marriages. So if you’re contemplating another wedding, here’s what you can do to make sure you’re among the 40% that succeeds! This advice comes from Netscape.com.
- Priority #1 in a re-marriage: Make sure your first marriage is history. That means you’ve resolved all emotional hang-ups with your ex. It also means you’ve filed away your divorce papers, accepted any alimony obligations, and settled your custody battles. The truth is, you need to be completely over your ex before you agree to spend the rest of your life with someone new!
- Be on the same page financially. Experts say estate planning is essential in a 2nd marriage, because there’s a lot more at stake. You and your future spouse probably have children and step-children to consider. So talk honestly about your money goals, and meet with an accountant who can help you both draw up an estate plan. It’s also a good idea to meet with a lawyer to discuss a fair pre-nuptial agreement. That way you’ll both be protected. Just in case.
- Of course, another consideration for a happy 2nd marriage: Your kids. Even if your children are grown and living on their own, their feelings count. You don’t want to lose a budding new relationship because your own child can’t adjust to their new step-mom or step-dad! So involve your kids in your decision process, and make sure they understand your reasons for wanting to remarry. Also make sure your new spouse-to-be is willing to become a reliable step-parent.
- Have realistic expectations. Be honest and ask yourself where you want to be in 5 or 10 years. Do you want more kids? Do you want to start a new career? Or do you want to retire soon and travel? Then ask your spouse-to-be if they share your goals because the best time to talk about these things is BEFORE you both say “I do.”