Love & Relationships

In relationships, there are certain questions you need to ask. But you don’t want to ask the big ones too early. So what do you ask, when? Here’s the scoop according to Dr. Judith Sills, author of the relationship book “If the Horse is Dead, Get Off”.

• First, if you’ve just met somebody, get to know them better by asking, “What did you do today?” If it’s a weeknight, you’ll find out whether they have a job. If it’s Saturday, you’ll know whether they like to sleep in like you do, or go jogging at 6:00 a.m..
• “What do you love about your job?” Even if they’re just doing it for the money, that’s good information to know.

After you’ve been dating awhile, the questions get more serious:

• “Do you mind if I pay tonight?” Some men can’t handle it when a woman picks up the check. You need to know what his attitudes are toward independent women.
• “What are my parents’ first names?” Well, you don’t actually ask that question – what you really want to know is how well your partner knows you. Have they been paying attention when you talk?                               

But before you make the leap to marriage, there are a few more important questions to ask.

• "Will it drive you crazy if dishes get left in the sink overnight?” This might seem trivial, but it’ll lead to a discussion of bad habits, so both of you know what you’re getting into.  
• “What are your most significant life experiences?” You need to know important things like whether they belong to Gamblers Anonymous, or have children from a previous marriage. You need to know what their turning point was – it’ll give you an idea of their values in life.

If you’d like to go further, the book is called “If the Horse is Dead, Get Off” by Dr. Judith Sills.