Yes, there is life after a painful break-up. You just need to learn how to deal with your hurt. The biggest mistake people make when they go through a bad break-up is that they waste their energy blaming the other person. They shouldn’t have been so controlling, they should have changed, they caused me so much pain. Well, it’s time to stop focusing on the person who’s not in your life anymore and focus on the person who is: You! So here are some questions to ask yourself after a break-up:
- Question number one: Why was that person in my life? To teach me what about myself? We tend to be mirrors for each other. When we’re aggravated by a negative trait in someone else, it’s usually because that same trait is something we need to work on ourselves. It’s hard to admit our own faults, but it’s necessary if you want your next relationship to be better.
- Question number two: Is it possible that my expectations were too high? Unfortunately, we enter relationships with the pressure that this “has to be the one.” Once you do that, you’ve set yourself up to fail. A better approach is to enter a relationship thinking, “We’ll see how it goes.” Then focus on communicating and appreciating things moment to moment. Also, never think ‘I just wasted 3 years of my life!’ No matter how long the relationship lasted it wasn’t a waste if you learned something about yourself and gained life experience.
- The final question to ask yourself after a break-up: How is the pain of my broken heart related to my parents? Your parents’ marriage plays an important role in how you handle relationships. Not that you should blame them if you have a bad break-up, but their marriage could hold some clues about your attitudes toward love. Like if your parents got divorced and it really hurt you, when you have a break-up it might reignite those feelings of loss and abandonment. So after a break-up take the time to examine yourself emotionally. It just may be the key to the lasting relationship you long for.