Okay, guys, this one's for you. Is your soon-to-be significant other over her last relationship.
Okay, guys, this one's for you. Is your soon-to-be significant other over her last relationship. Or is she still stuck on him? To find out, ask yourself these questions from Dr. Judith Sherven, author of Be Loved for Who You Really Are:
- First, how serious did they get? The more their lives overlapped, the harder it is to move on. And if they lived together, they had morning rituals, paid bills and went grocery shopping together. So, the breakup basically uprooted their entire lifestyle. The doctor says give her time to adjust. Wait 6 months before you get serious to make sure you're not just a "rebound" replacement.
- Then, how often does she see her "ex"? Our psychologist shares this no-brainer: If she spends a lot of time alone with him, it means the emotional connection is mutual. Also, be cautious if she drags you to her "ex's" favorite club, and acts surprised when he shows up. Basically, you'll know it's over when she stops going out of her way to see him. But if she avoids contact with him, she could be suppressing still-raw memories, which leads to your next question:
- What does she say about her ex? If she gushes or says she hates him, that's trouble. Because intense emotions usually mean unresolved conflict.
- Finally, there's the souvenir issue. Is everything in a box in the basement, or in prominent view on the walls and bookshelves. According to Dr. Sherven, it's unhealthy for people to deny their own past. But if she's over her ex, she should have taken his picture off the mantel.
