Keep These Things in Mind, When Searching for "The One"
Guys, have you ever been in a relationship with someone you thought might have been “the one”? However, you weren’t entirely sure – and now, here you are, still single. Scanning the horizon for the girl of your dreams. Two possibilities exist – you’ll spot her across a crowded room this weekend. The other possibility – you broke up with her two years ago because you didn’t realize what you had. So here’s how to never make that mistake again. This is from one of our favorite columnists Hugh O’Neill and Rodale Publishing.
- Stop waiting to feel like you did in high school. We all want to believe that our hearts will go ‘boom’ when we lock eyes with her, but that doesn’t happen as much with grown-ups with some mileage on them. In fact, the more self-reliant you are, the less likely you are to get weak in the knees when you see her. So don’t think that a lack of fireworks means it’s not love – it just means maturity.
- Another thing to keep in mind as you’re looking for “the one” – marriage doesn’t diminish you as a man. In fact, marriage makes you more of a man. A husband is a caretaker, a plumber, a subduer of intruders, and with luck – a father. All those roles call forth more masculine energy than being a single stallion.
- Another factor that could be standing in the way of finding “the one”: stop looking for your perfect match. One of the best things about being married is having another pair of eyes and ears to give you an alternate perspective on life. So stop holding out for “your type.”
- Finally, when searching for the one – stop thinking she has to have it all. A lot of guys size up a woman the way they would a flat screen TV. Does she have all the features on the checklist? Well, here’s the answer. Yes, she’s pretty enough. Yes, she’s smart enough. Yes, she’s funny enough. Those questions don’t really matter. Your anxieties are less about her than about how others may view your choice of a partner. The ultimate question is this: Will she dig in with you when trouble comes? If the answer is yes, grab her and get married already.
