If You ’re single, listen up! Starting a relationship is a lot like driving. Going too fast courts disaster. I have 4 red flags that your new love is going to crash, courtesy of Match .com:
- LOTS of phone calls and emails. Communicating 24/7 isn’t a sign that someone’s in love - it’s a sign that they’re needy. And relationships based on that are destined for trouble.
- You think you’re a perfect match. That’s a sign that you’re more interested in the idea of being in love than you are in each other. Because every relationship has flaws. Couples that last aren’t perfect. They’re realistic and forgiving.
- You need to slow down your relationship if your new love will do ANYTHING to please you. When that happens, you’re involved with someone who’s addicted to the feel-good chemicals the brain releases at the beginning of a relationship. It’s also a sign that this person may be too invested in the relationship – to the exclusion of their own life and interests.
When you’re the center of someone’s world, they can become obsessive and you can start feeling smothered. In general, if it feels like it’s happening too fast, it probably is. So, here’s how to slow down the pace without ending the romance:
- Talk about how you feel. For example, “I want to see if we’re a good match, but we’re going so fast it’s hard for me to sort out my feelings.”
- Make plans in advance. That way you’ll both be able to look forward to your next date instead feeling pressure to see each other on a whim.
- Don’t rush anything. No one’s saying love at first sight doesn’t exist - just that it doesn’t always LAST. And after all, if you’re really soul mates, you’ll have a lifetime together, so there’s no need to race down the aisle.