So you’ve started dating a really cool woman. Well, if you want to keep dating her, there are certain pitfalls you need to avoid. Here’s how to navigate the dating minefield, courtesy of Rodale Publishing.
- Here’s a common scenario – a woman talks about one of her flaws, like “My thighs are so huge! I just hate them!” What’s a guy supposed to say to that? To you, her perceived flaw is no big deal – but to her, it’s major. The absolute ‘don’t’ in this situation – saying too much or too little. If you don’t say anything, she might think your silence is an agreement. If you say, “Stop worrying about something so ridiculous!” she’ll think you aren’t sensitive to her feelings. So strike the perfect balance by saying something like, “I’m interested in all of you. Besides, I’m not crazy about my big ears.” That way you’re addressing her fears about her body image and letting her know you have insecurities too.
- Here’s another dating minefield. You’ve been on 15 or so dates, but your new girlfriend has yet to pick up the tab or even offer. Don’t say: “Do you ever plan on opening your wallet?” Instead, psychologist Ian Kerner says, send a text message that says, “So where are you taking me for dinner on Friday night?” It’s cute, but also let’s her know dating is a 2-way street.
- You run into your new girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend at a restaurant and it turns out he could be a double for Tom Brady. Resist the urge to compete by bragging about yourself, your car or your job. Instead, treat him like a colleague – by being polite and cordial but not too chummy. Then later, when you two are alone, ask your new girlfriend, “Do you have any unresolved issues with your ex? I just want all the cards on the table before we get serious.” According to psychotherapist Laura Berman, she’ll appreciate your self-confidence and honesty – instead of jealousy and insecurity.