That's from Martha Beck, life coach and author of The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life. So, here are her tips on how deal with your inner critic:
- First, change your story. Most people constantly focus on their physical shortcomings. So, every time you mentally criticize something about your face or your body, you also have to find something to praise. Like, "My stomach's not flat!" but "I do have beautiful eyes." A little self-support can have a profound effect on how you feel, and how others perceive you.
- Another way to feel better about yourself is: Change your comparisons. In other words, stop measuring yourself against the people you see in magazines and movies. And re-think those fairy tales! Snow White may have been "the fairest in the land," but the kingdom she came from had, what, 150 people in it? And by the time you eliminate the men, kids, married ladies, and grandmothers, she was competing with maybe 35 other girls. So, next time you're at the mall, instead of comparing yourself to all the airbrushed ads, compare yourself to 35 real women at random.
- And the final way to feel better about yourself is: Become someone else. In other words, think of someone you admire, whether it's Celine Dion, Serena Williams, or Margaret Thatcher. Then go out in public, and be that person for five minutes. If you really get into the role, you may discover that people respond to you differently. Bottom line: a bit of play-acting can create a sort of enchantment the original meaning of the word "glamour," by the way.
If you'd like to go further, check out the book The Joy Diet by life coach Martha Beck.