Will your marriage have a happily ever after ending? Or is divorce in your future?
Well, take a look back at how things were when you started dating--It just may hold the key to unlock the future of your union.
In an article published by Psychology Today, professor of psychology, Ted Huston from the University of Texas says you can take a look at couple's courtship and see it as a template for the marriage itself. He's been studying hundreds of marriages for over 20 years.
One key factor is how a couple first commits to one another. What was the trigger? Was it "event driven" or "relationship driven".
An event driven example would be deciding to live together to save rent, or a surprise pregnancy. And couples who commit on this kind of basis have more conflict and greater uncertainty about their relationship than couples who commit to each other solely because they're in love and want to be together--That's a couple that's "relationship driven".
Another finding from Dr. Huston's research is that the length of the courtship can have an effect. The happiest couples dated for an average of 2 years. Couples who put off dating exclusively right up to the engagement and then married around the 3-year mark generally became "early-exiters", people quick to leave a marriage. Those marriages typically only lasted between 2 and 7 years.
But this doesn't mean being "lovely-dovey" guarantees happily ever after either--The research found that when couples commit quickly and date for 18 months or less before marriage, they commonly only make it to the 7-year mark. Bottom line? Dr. Huston says marital problems are like a virus--They may lie dormant for awhile but will surface and erode the marriage. The best antidote is being realistic about expectations just because you're married doesn't mean you can stop working on the relationship. And the best things two people can do is communicate openly and honestly about what they want and how they feel.
In an article published by Psychology Today, professor of psychology, Ted Huston from the University of Texas says you can take a look at couple's courtship and see it as a template for the marriage itself. He's been studying hundreds of marriages for over 20 years.
One key factor is how a couple first commits to one another. What was the trigger? Was it "event driven" or "relationship driven".
An event driven example would be deciding to live together to save rent, or a surprise pregnancy. And couples who commit on this kind of basis have more conflict and greater uncertainty about their relationship than couples who commit to each other solely because they're in love and want to be together--That's a couple that's "relationship driven".
Another finding from Dr. Huston's research is that the length of the courtship can have an effect. The happiest couples dated for an average of 2 years. Couples who put off dating exclusively right up to the engagement and then married around the 3-year mark generally became "early-exiters", people quick to leave a marriage. Those marriages typically only lasted between 2 and 7 years.
But this doesn't mean being "lovely-dovey" guarantees happily ever after either--The research found that when couples commit quickly and date for 18 months or less before marriage, they commonly only make it to the 7-year mark. Bottom line? Dr. Huston says marital problems are like a virus--They may lie dormant for awhile but will surface and erode the marriage. The best antidote is being realistic about expectations just because you're married doesn't mean you can stop working on the relationship. And the best things two people can do is communicate openly and honestly about what they want and how they feel.
