Think of the happiest couple you know

Would you be surprised to find out that they break some of the most cherished rules of marriage? Well, maybe you can learn something from them--According to Steve and Sue Simring, authors of "Making Marriage Work for Dummies," the happiest married couples do break a few rules. Here are the top 4--
  • Never go to bed angry. This is one of the oldest and most quoted chestnuts, but it's completely unrealistic - emotionally and physically. You can't tell someone not to feel angry. And a lot of times when people do go to bed angry, things don't seem so bad in the morning. You're able to talk more clearly because there's been a "cooling off" period.
  • He deals with his parents, you deal with yours. Here's why you should break this rule: Since parents sometimes talk to their grown kids like they're still babies, it can be better for you, the in-law child, to deal with certain issues. The conversation is more likely to be adult to adult. And parents usually respect an in-law child when they stick up for their partner and set boundaries.
The third marriage rule to break: You can't change each other, so don't try-- A good partnership is supposed to encourage each person to learn and grow. And it's healthier to voice concerns than ignore them. It takes guts to speak up and say "I care enough about our marriage to try to change the things I'm unhappy with".
And the 4th rule happy couples break: They always spend the holidays together. Sometimes it's just not possible, and being understanding about work conflicts or religious differences shows you support each other. And don't worry about what other people will think, marriage isn't about anyone else - it's about what works for you.
If you want to go further, check out the book "Making Marriage Work for Dummies".

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