If you came of age during the ‘70s and ‘80s, then you’re part of the first generation in history to have more parents who are divorced than married. Now that you’re old enough to have a family of your own, new research shows that you’re trying very hard to avoid taking after your parents.

For example: A survey found that Generation X wives are more likely to seek relationship advice from their friends than their own Moms. After all: Why get advice from people who failed in their own relationships? Also, new census data shows that divorce rates have dropped to their lowest level in 40 years! Experts say that suggests that today’s couples refuse to put their kids through the same pain they went through growing up. Their thinking is: “No matter what happens, we’re never getting divorced.”

However, that’s not always a good thing. In fact, therapists say staying together in an unhappy marriage, can actually be more damaging to kids than divorcing! That may be why many Generation X couples are pursuing something known as “friendly divorce.” It’s where couples let a mediator help them divide parenting duties, instead of going through an expensive custody battle. Know this: A new University of Virginia study shows that couples who mediate their divorce tend to be more active in their children’s lives than parents who go to court!