Do you have anger management issues?
Venting your anger in the heat of the moment just generates more anger. That's because anger makes most people defensive, and they respond to the anger itself instead of the message. But if you hold your anger inside, that leads to pent-up hostility, ruined relationships, and inappropriate blow-ups over irrelevant issues. So, here are some tips on how to deal with anger in a healthy way, from psychiatrist Bernard Golden, author of Healthy Anger:
If you'd like to go further, the book is called Healthy Anger by Dr. Bernard Golden.
- First, people often get angry because their needs aren't being met. In other words, you wanted your spouse to say they love you, instead they called to tell you they had to work late--The thing is, you wouldn't have minded, if they had actually said they loved you before they hung up. So, next time you get angry, figure out why you're angry, and what you really wanted to happen instead. Then, tell them you were angry and why, and then let it go.
- Also, don't assign blame. Don't say, "You abandoned me so you could network at my cousin's wedding!" Instead, use "I" statements, Like, "I felt anxious," "I felt jealous," or "I feel lonely when you leave me alone at a party".
If you'd like to go further, the book is called Healthy Anger by Dr. Bernard Golden.
