Ladies, is the man you’re dating “relationship material” – or would you be better off without him? Dr. Tina Tessina, psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again, says there are four ways to tell when a man’s not a keeper.

  • He’s always talking about himself. Is the conversation always what he likes, wants and does? It means he’s probably not interested in your thoughts, feelings, or opinions. And if he’s not paying attention when he’s supposedly trying to make a good impression, during the dating stage, he certainly won’t pay attention after 10 years of marriage.
  • Relentless negativity. In other words, he never stops complaining about his job, the idiots around him, and how nothing ever goes his way. But beware: Dealing with constant negativity is emotionally draining – and can turn you into a negative person, too.
  • He’s dishonest or untrustworthy. There’s a big difference between saying, “You’re a great cook!” when you know you’re not, and saying, “No, I’ve never been convicted of a felony” when he’s spent the last two years in lockup. Big lies erode the foundation of a relationship.
  • He’s a chronic cheater. Even if he swears he’ll never do it again, will you really be able to believe him when he says he’s working late, going on a business trip, or hanging out with the guys? Dr. Tessina says that life’s too short to be constantly worried whether you partner’s being faithful or not. And suggests it’s time to cut your losses and move on.

Lesson Expert

Jennifer Boller

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