There are some bad dates that deserve a second chance! That’s the message from psychologist Dr. Paulette Sherman, who wrote the book Dating From The Inside Out. She says you should absolutely walk away from anyone who disrespects you, or who doesn’t share your core values and goals. But there are some situations when you should give people one more try - even after a bad first date. For example:
- Even if you don’t feel sparks. Dr. Sherman says go out again even if the sparks aren’t there because chemistry takes time to develop. And there are lots of married couples who look back at their first dates, and say their first impression was wrong. So, as long as there’s a mental attraction, Dr. Sherman recommends going on at least three dates before deciding whether or not there’s a love match.
- If you or your partner felt nervous on the first date. Surveys show that nerves are the biggest reason why most first dates go bad. Experts say it’s because many couples today meet online, and have great conversations via email or text. But then when they meet in person the first time, they feel a lot of pressure, and act differently. So, let the butterflies pass, then go out again, and just relax and be yourself.
- Try a different setting if the first one didn’t work. For example: if your first date was a double date, then try a one-on-one date. And if you had dinner the first time, then visit a museum the next time. Our expert says a lot of couples can’t connect on first dates because they never get comfortable. And you’ve got nothing to lose by trying again in a different setting.
- What if your first date went horribly bad because something embarrassing happened? Like a freeway accident made you late for dinner, or the movie you went to turned out to be extremely inappropriate for a first date? Dr. Sherman says instead of running away in shame, address the issue and move on. Because even if you have to beg for a second chance, it could make the difference between meeting a good friend or your soul mate.