Guys, here’s a news flash: According to University of California research, men talk more than women. Men make more statements, men speak longer, and men make more suggestions. Women, on the other hand, ask more questions and take more turns when having a conversation. Those differences are one of the big reasons why men and women clash so often – and how an innocent question can turn into a full-blown fight.

So guys, here’s how to communicate more effectively in three common scenarios.

  • Here’s the right way to respond to this question: “Do I look fat in this?” You may think she’s fishing for a compliment, but psychologists call it “fat talk” – a way to bond with other women and a way to show that she’s conscious of the way she looks. So your response? If it doesn’t look flattering, say this: “That dress doesn’t do you justice. Wear the black one – you look great in that.” Never say, “Yeah. You look fat.” Men often insult their partners as a way to de-value them – so their self-esteem will be lower and they won’t go looking for a mate elsewhere. Don’t be that guy.

  • Next question: “Where is this relationship going?” Women ask this to see if you’re committed. If you’re not, don’t string her along. Give her an honest answer so she has the opportunity to make an informed decision about you. So say this “I really like spending time with you, but I’m not looking for a serious relationship right now.”

  • So what’s the right way to break up? Never say, “I told you I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship!” Instead say, “I can’t give you what you deserve.” That’s the truth! And by saying that, you’re taking the blame for the relationship’s failure. You’re also softening the blow without giving her hope for the future.

Lesson Expert

Ben Harris

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