Is your marriage worth saving? Every marriage has its ups and downs, but the experts agree that there’s a list of “universal signs” that your marriage is heading down a dangerous path, and if you don’t do something, you’re most likely heading for a divorce!
- You’ve “uncoupled.” That’s the term psychologist Dr. Elayne Savage uses for when couples become disengaged, and no longer spend time together. She says if you feel relieved to be away from your spouse, it’s a major red flag.
- You have lingering relationship problems that aren’t getting fixed. According to the book, The Marriage First Aid Kit, it’s healthy to talk about your problems with friends, family, and your spouse, if it leads to fixing things. But if you’re making no progress on resolving an issue after a year, it may be time to call it quits.
- Your marriage lacks loyalty. In fact, experts say a lot of marriages can survive a spouse being unfaithful, if the couple has a strong sense of loyalty to each other. What you can’t overcome is if your spouse turns to someone else to confide in whether it’s a friend, or someone they’re having an affair with, because then it’s more than just an affair - it’s a relationship.
- You disagree on kids. Alisa Bowman is a marriage counselor who says too many couples go into marriage sitting on the “will-we-or-won’t-we-have-children fence.” She says if one of you wants kids, and the other definitely does not, it’s only a matter of time before you file for divorce.