What’s the number one thing that’ll sink a budding romance? Playing it too cool. A new Northwestern University study found that when we like someone, but aren’t sure they like us back, we find that person much more attractive. Because when we absolutely know someone is interested in us, the thrill of the chase is gone.
But experts say there’s a difference between actually being hard to get, and playing hard to get. The latter is manipulative – and it’ll start a relationship off with game playing.
So, ditch these “hard to get” moves:
- Waiting to return messages. The old wisdom was to wait at least 2 days before you return a call or message. But the reality is, we’re all usually plugged into our smartphones 24/7. And ignoring a call or text for a couple days just makes you seem rude or uninterested. Dr. Jackie Black is the author of “Meeting Your Match.” She says the new rule is you should always respond to a message within 24 hours.
- Drive-by conversations. Like “I’m about to walk into a meeting, but figured I’d give you a quick call.” The idea is that calling when you’re busy shows you’re important. But it also sends the message that you’re either a show-off or too scared to have an actual conversation. So, experts say you should only call someone when you can offer them your full attention.
- Bragging about your options. You may think hinting that you’re being chased by several suitors means you’re a hot ticket. But it actually comes across as you being insecure, and trying to making them jealous. The new rule: Don’t say a word about other people until you have the “exclusivity” talk.