Turns out, Billy Crystal’s character in “When Harry Met Sally” might’ve been right. He told Meg Ryan that men and women can’t be “just friends.” And new research shows he was on to something. According to the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, men and women are equally likely to be attracted to a friend of the opposite sex - and 2 out of 3 are. But there are differences:
- Men are more likely to become friends with women they’re attracted to, while women look for male friends who offer kindness, good conversation, and companionship. The same things they look for in female friends. For women, the attraction comes after the friendship, not before.
- Men are also more likely to want an intimate relationship with a female friend - even if both of them are already with other people. While women are less likely want to date a male friend who has a significant other.
- Also, a lot of women have no idea their male friend is interested in them. While most men consistently, and wrongly, assume that their female buddy is romantically interested in them.
So, what if you’re both single and just friends, but you want more? Tell your friend you had a dream in which you were dating. There are only 3 basic responses they can give:
- “Whoa, that's weird! What made you dream that?” If you get that response, they're not interested in anything more, so laugh it off.
- “Tell me more…”If your friend says that, they’re not dead-set AGAINST the idea, but they may not have thought about it before.
- “Now that you mention it, I had one too!” In this case, say goodbye to a beautiful friendship, and hello to a beautiful romance!