The red flags that mean your relationship needs work in order to survive. This comes from relationship expert Dr. James Cordova:
- Your spending habits are very different, and your money fights are intense. Most people think financial arguments are just about spending and saving, but they’re more about how we feel emotionally about money. For example, say you’re a saver - the more your partner spends, the more anxious you’ll feel, and the more money you’ll try to save. The fix: accept that you have different attitudes about money. And find a middle ground that both of you can be okay with.
- You’re always snapping at each other. It’s normal to argue occasionally, but constant bickering is a sign you’re glossing over important issues, and using little things to show your resentment. It can also mean you’re losing faith each other – and using petty arguments to create distance between you. And this can go on for years before you notice you’re truly unhappy. So, if you’re constantly annoyed by your partner, it may be time to talk to a therapist.
- You never fight! A lot of people are so reluctant to start an argument, that they avoid dealing with the things that bother them. For example, say it drives you nuts that your partner leaves dirty dishes in the sink. But you think it’s too silly to mention. But ignoring behaviors that are easy to change will just make you bitter and unhappy. And they may not even realize it bothers you!
- You’re not resolving your arguments - you’re letting them fizzle out. After a fight, don’t just walk away and assume everything will be okay. Instead, make sure there’s no lasting damage. Try saying something like, “We may disagree about this – but we’re fine. And I still love you."