Want a longer, happier marriage? Then you’ve got to constantly switch things up! That’s according to the book The Myths of Happiness. The book found that no matter how happy your partner makes you, when you get used to having them around, the thrill fades. Psychologists call this “hedonistic adaptation.” It’s why some things that excite us one day, can stop exciting us when we do them every day. Like, if you had an ice cream sundae every day, it eventually stops becoming a special treat.
The same goes for spouses – the more we get used to them, we begin to take them for granted. And without variety in relationships, couples tend to become bored and dissatisfied. So, how can you add variety to your relationship, and boost it at the same time?
- Shake up your routine. For example: Don’t go to the same restaurants every week. Visit new places together. And instead of hanging out with the same friends every Friday night, make an effort to meet new friends.
- Plan more surprises. Psychologists say that with time, partners tend to get to know each other too well. But you can usually counteract that problem by planning a surprise dance lesson, for example – even if both of you have no clue how to tango.
- Increase the amount of non-sexual physical contact in your relationship. Because many couples say that after just a few years together, they begin to miss simple things – like hugging and holding hands.
Psychologists say the key is to begin focusing on these things before you feel boredom setting in. Because by adding more surprise and spontaneity to your relationship, you and your partner are more likely to keep your relationship fresh, meaningful and positive for many years to come.